Is it possible to be intimidated by doing what you love? How can love inspire fear? 

I’m not sure its truly possible to be intimidated by the things you choose to pour your time and energy into. Hear me out. Of course you want whatever you choose to do to have a particular standard attached to it. It’s a physical representation of you after all. But perhaps its not what we love that scares us. Rather, it’s fear of rejection – the fear of disappointing a loved one or someone you respect. The fear of not being accepted for who you are. 

We all want to be loved, but here’s a little secret that you’re already aware of –
Not everyone is going to love you
and that’s okay. 

It's a hard pill to swallow. This is how I began processing this realization

When I was younger, I loved reading anything related to quantum physics, whether I could comprehend it or not. It was my form of mythical fiction which I devoured for hours. The thing about the quantum world is no one truly understands it, much like consciousness, and I finally understand why I must have taken such solace in this world. 


The quantum world proposes our perspective and interpretation of reality affects the outcome. Possibly the most popular of its mysteries are showcased via the Double Slit Experiment where the Observer Effect is duly noted. In a nutshell, the outcome of the experiment changes depending on whether we choose to measure particular properties of the particles concerned. 

Here’s why this is so mind-blowing: Science helps us understand the world. It is our way of understanding why things work the way they do. This means we assume there is a predetermined way in which things function, interact and eventually produce. However, if the way the world behaves changes based on our observation, then what is really reality? Suddenly, there’s a possibility reality might not be as rigid as we dare believe. I guess I should be disturbed by these findings- a lot of people are- but I take comfort in the beautiful philosophy which accompanies this possibility. That is, there are many ways to approach this thing we know as life, and just because one is different from the other, it does not mean either is less meaningful than the other.

Differences can exist in harmony and differences are possibly what keep the world evolving, changing and growing the way it does. Ultimately, the differences we allow ourselves to accept brings about new experiences and may help us unlock unbiased understanding toward energy- who we are, how we affect all around us, how nature affects us, why love is such a powerful factor in life, and the ways in which our differences may actually unite us. The paradoxical nature of the quantum world is quite beautiful from this philosophical perspective. 


There’s a reason it’s so difficult for adults to accept or appreciate cultures alien to them. It has to do with the psyche of self-defense. Our brains are wired to perceive uncertainty as a threat and it responds defensively, much in the way the immune system protects the body. This response is known as unfalsifiability. It basically allows you to cling to your beliefs and  preserve a worldview, allowing you to feel safe. This gives way to defensively distort, deny and interpret reality in a manner that protects self-integrity. The downside to this natural behavior is missed opportunity- for growth, for understanding, for flexibility. In a world that is constantly changing, the ability to rest your defense might actually be your best offense. By seeing compromise as ‘not standing your ground’ and yeilding, you lose an advantage that could be yours. 


Understanding the way our brains work and reading the discoveries and theories of social scientists are both intimidating and inspirational. In psychology, there is a theory known as self-affirmation theory. It is a branch of the psychology of self-defense and it proposes overcoming self-defense may lead to self-improvement, not self-destruction. Open mindedness is beautiful with a hint of danger, much like a rose crowned with thorns. 

So what does this have to do with learning to be okay that not everyone will love you?

By appreciating how reality is perceived, it relinquishes you from attaching self-worth to an individual’s acceptance of who you are. By understanding it’s natural to crave social acceptance, especially by those within your circle of life, you are also able to appreciate this isn’t the only way of life. Being different doesn’t mean you are unlovable or unworthy of love. You’re just beyond the grasp of someone else’s existence. It doesn’t make you any less than them, nor them any less than you. Equal doesn’t have to mean exact- and even that not everyone is going to be able to accept, and that’s okay. By understanding your worth, what you can bring to the table, being aware of your value- you’re already halfway through that uphill battle of convincing yourself you do belong

Intimidation is a common tool used to keep the potential outliers within the lines of the cultural norms. When you know your value though, no amount of intimidation can slow you down. How many times have you found yourself thinking: 

  • No one here likes me or respects me 

  • No one wants to hear my opinion 

  • Everyone thinks I’m stupid, I must be stupid then right? 

  • I don’t belong here. 

  • I’m not good enough. 

Dearest soul. The hard truth is not everyone is going to be able to accept you, appreciate you or love you. The beautiful truth is most of us are intimidated by someone else, and that gives way to the negative energy each of us are capable of emitting – whether we mean to or not. This is beautiful because in this way, we are all equal whether we want to be or not. Choosing how to deal with the energy that comes your way, and the energy you may emit- that’s what makes the difference. It takes brutal honesty and courage to admit this because it enables you to see how some can be toxic to you, as you may be to others. The plant which holds healing properties, if not consumed in a particular way, may also poisonous. You decide how to use the properties of the plant and that creates the result. It is the same with the inputs of individuals in your life. You decide how to process their effect on you. Find a way to use the negatives to your advantage and the positives to keep you up in those tiring moments. It’s all about working the inputs of life to make the most of the limited time you’ve got on this fantastic blue ball we call home. 

It’s a strange thing, life. I suppose that’s what also makes it beautiful- its variety. This is the art I’ve taught myself in the spirit of making the most of each moment when it comes to people. 



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